Mistaken Identity
Glenn Voorhees (grasshopper)
caine@findtao.com
Mon, 8 Apr 2002 21:26:48 -0600
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Friday February 15, around 8:30pm, Bend Oregon
I was copying something out of a book on snowboarding at Barnes and =
Noble (no Borders in Bend), and three kids walked by, probably about 10 =
years old, one of them carrying a skateboard. One of them stopped and =
said "Whoa, is that a book on snowboarding?" I told him that it was and =
that there were several of them just around the corner on the bottom =
shelf. Distracted by my task, I didn't really think before I answered =
his next question, and what that answer might mean to a 10 year old =
skatepunk. So when he asked me if I was a snowboarder I said "yes". =
After all, I had spent the last 4 days, and 6 of the last 8 =
snowboarding. I mean, I call my myself a writer and a photographer even =
though I have not been published in either medium. They walked around =
the corner, but not out of sight. Continuing my copying I noticed them =
standing there, half looking at the books, half looking at me. And what =
a sight I presented. Blue jeans on their 5th consecutive day, a nappy =
old fleece, a ski cap that could pass for a color wheel, 6 days of beard =
growth, and to top off the experience, no shower in 5 days. Thinking =
they were still interested in the books I looked up and told them =
"further down, on the bottom shelf". They slowly wandered off, only to =
return from behind, one of them asking me if I worked there. At this =
point I started to get it, and realized that when I said "snowboarder", =
they heard "SNOWBOARDER". For the next 5 minutes or so as I wandered =
around the store I had a little group following me a few stacks back. A =
little later, as I sat on the floor in the Travel section reading a book =
on National Parks, they made their last pass, slowly walking by, trying =
to figure out who I was. I'm glad they didn't stop to ask, I think we =
all might have been a little let down if I had to tell them the truth.
By the way, here is the quote I was copying down, if I ever write the =
book of this journey, I think I want to open with this...
"As manifested in today's environment, it is extremely hazardous to =
compete with five million out-of-control human beings endlessly =
copulating and bowing to the gods of growth and planned waste, rewarded =
with IOU paper promises to their non-existent Promised Land. Getaway is =
the name of the game and I've been burning up the road ever since."
Legendary surfer Mickey Dora
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<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>Friday February 15, around 8:30pm, Bend =
Oregon</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>I was copying something out of a book =
on=20
snowboarding at Barnes and Noble (no Borders in Bend), and three kids =
walked by,=20
probably about 10 years old, one of them carrying a skateboard. =
One of=20
them stopped and said "Whoa, is that a book on snowboarding?" I =
told him=20
that it was and that there were several of them just around the corner =
on the=20
bottom shelf. Distracted by my task, I didn't really think before =
I=20
answered his next question, and what that answer might mean to a 10 year =
old=20
skatepunk. So when he asked me if I was a snowboarder I said =
"yes". =20
After all, I had spent the last 4 days, and 6 of the last 8 =
snowboarding. =20
I mean, I call my myself a writer and a photographer even though I =
have not=20
been published in either medium. They walked around the corner, =
but not=20
out of sight. Continuing my copying I noticed them standing there, =
half=20
looking at the books, half looking at me. And what a sight I=20
presented. Blue jeans on their 5th consecutive day, a nappy old =
fleece, a=20
ski cap that could pass for a color wheel, 6 days of beard growth, and =
to top=20
off the experience, no shower in 5 days. Thinking they were still=20
interested in the books I looked up and told them "further down, on the =
bottom=20
shelf". They slowly wandered off, only to return from behind, one =
of them=20
asking me if I worked there. At this point I started to get it, =
and=20
realized that when I said "snowboarder", they heard "SNOWBOARDER". =
For the=20
next 5 minutes or so as I wandered around the store I had a little group =
following me a few stacks back. A little later, as I sat on the =
floor in=20
the Travel section reading a book on National Parks, they made their =
last pass,=20
slowly walking by, trying to figure out who I was. I'm glad they =
didn't=20
stop to ask, I think we all might have been a little let down if I had =
to tell=20
them the truth.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>By the way, here is the quote I was =
copying down,=20
if I ever write the book of this journey, I think I want to open with=20
this...</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>"As manifested in today's environment, =
it is=20
extremely hazardous to compete with five million out-of-control human =
beings=20
endlessly copulating and bowing to the gods of growth and planned waste, =
rewarded with IOU paper promises to their non-existent Promised =
Land. =20
Getaway is the name of the game and I've been burning up the road ever=20
since."</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2> =
<EM>Legendary=20
surfer Mickey Dora</EM></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV></BODY></HTML>
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